Crutches and Frustration

A bit of a rant today. Yesterday while teaching spin I heard and felt a pop in my ankle. Being me, I slowed down, assessed and since it didn't feel too bad I kept going. I even taught my second spin class 30 minutes later. Unfortunately afterward I ended up having to attend the emergency room. I went to the hospital rather than a clinic because I felt I needed an X-ray and couldn't get that at a clinic. Why do I find this process so frustrating when it works so well for some people? Let me explain. My friend goes to the doctor with a sore leg and seems to get really thorough care, or at least it seems like that from the outside. referrals happen, she is thoroughly examined and she knows for sure what is happening. Fast forward to my injury. When the nurse greets me he has already decided I have plantar fasciitis. I have had that 20 years ago and this aint it! I tell him that my pain isn't in the right spots and he dismisses me. One touch to my ankle and he is gone. The doctor comes in and listens to my story and without touching me decides which muscle is pulled and/or torn. What about the searing pain under my foot, I ask? Well, there is a lot going on in there he says. Do you think I need an X-ray to rule out a stress fracture where the under foot pain is I ask? He says I should see my doctor next week and if she feels I need one then go...in the meantime to be safe, use crutches. REALLY? Why not get the X-ray done and diagnose rather than guess? I am so tired of people guessing wants wrong at my expense. Today from my perch on the couch I am doing some research to find out where I go from here. I want an X-ray to check the bones in my foot and a referral to someone that knows something about sports medicine and won't just pull a guess out of their butt to explain my left leg and it's issues. I will also be trying to figure out how to teach from a chair.. Should be an interesting week. Wish me luck

Food, glorious food!

Hi everyone. I haven't been here for a few days, but that doesn't mean I haven't been thinking about blogging. Sometimes, however, there is so much going on in my head that I have a hard time organizing my thoughts into something that might make sense to someone when I put it onto paper or "screen". Today I want to talk food! For so many of us food is an enemy, friend, comforter, hiding place and for so many of us, a way to just fill time when we are bored. Now, for me, food is becoming a way to transform my body into a true fitness competitor. This is going to be a major challenge for me AND for my trainer. I will be amazed if we both aren't totally grey before November. Right now I am eating to gain muscle and lose fat although the muscle gain is more of the focus right now. Lots of protein, carbs are ok and so is some good fat. For the average person it sounds ok. Calorie count is generous, really and it's all good food. So what is the problem? I AM A PICKY EATER!!!! There I said it. I, Kathi Taylor am a picky eater. Unfortunately I also suffer from sensitivities that manifest in a rather unpleasant way. For someone that spends a lot of time in front of people and moving around (spinning, teaching), I have to be careful. I can't just hop off the bike in the middle of class or leave a client for a bathroom break. Oh ya, this is huge as well, I am a public bathroom phobe. I mean rally, do you know how gross those public/gym bathrooms are? Yuck. Shortly we will be changing my diet to see how my body responds to changes so that we optimize my results so that when I am on stage I can put my best body out there for the judges. Did you all just hear me shudder? OMG I can't believe I am even thinking about this. it's going to be a challenge to resist temptation, but most of all to keep it clean and eat what is prescribed at the time I am supposed to eat. I hope as well that my body responds and doesn't just flip me the bird. I will keep you posted! I might, ok I will need a bunch of moral support from all of you guys out there to get me through this. My mind says I am ready, let's hope my stomach agrees.

Did I ever think this would be my life?

I was sitting having a coffee with my amazing husband last night and we were having a conversation about our lives right now. My day yesterday started with my power breakfast as I have an intense morning on Saturdays. I teach 2 spin classes back to back and need to be sure I have the fuel. Sometimes I need a quick bite between, sometimes not, but I also pack something that can be eaten/drank (drunk?) quickly so that I don't crash. I participate fully in the work and come out just as sweaty and beautiful as the participants. It is one of the best mornings of my week, second only to Sunday when I get to wake up on my own time and don't have any commitments (usually). The reason for this long and involved explanation about Saturday morning is because I had an AHA moment yesterday after spin class. As usual if we don't have places to run off to, a few of us sometimes linger for a few moments to visit. As my husband and I were talking about our day I made a comment that I just can't believe that I get to do what I do for a "job" and that I get to interact and spend time with the people I do. He commented that it is so incredible that I was welcomed into the fitness community with open arms and that there are people that have become friends that will take an extra step to help me achieve the goals I am reaching for, whether it's toward competition, poise, training or my business. It's so inspiring to find a group of people so passionate about health and fitness and with such a positive outlook. I realized as we were sitting there that I have made friends through my fitness journey that will be my friends for life. That was such an uplifting moment for me. I almost wanted to jump up and down I was so excited. At the end of most of my cardio and Pilates classes when we are doing our final stretch I lead the group to bring their hands into their chests, take a deep breath and think about things in their life they are grateful or thankful for. I think that is a way for all of us to take a moment and reflect on how lucky we are to be able to do what we do and for the friends we do this with. I know it brings me joy and I know people have commented they like it too. I know I think about my health, my family and how thankful I am for the friends with whom I get to share this journey. You have no idea the profound impact you have had on my life and I am thankful for all of you. You know who you are......

Shoulders Day

Thank you to my awesome trainer for relighting my fire yesterday. It felt so good to beat the tar out of my shoulders. I'm glad that typing only requires me to movement of my arms. No, really. I must admit though I am feeling a bit down this morning. I woke up feeling really good so I pulled out the scale only to discover that I gained 3 pounds overnight. WTF????? My mind tells me it's just a blip and then my mind tells me I am sliding. I ate well yesterday but I did eat late last night. When you have been really heavy and have succeeded in losing so much weight when the scale goes up you really beat ypurself up, at least i do. Luckily my husband is not the "fly off the handle, hysterical" person that I am and he talked me down a bit. Luckily I get to add some cardio in again soon and I will tighten up my eating and watch for the scale to move down again. I am all over it.

Now that I'm 50....

Good morning everyone. I haven't been here in a few days. It has been a whirlwind week and I am finally starting to feel life return to normal. My birthday seemed to last for days as there was so much going on. Celebrations started on Saturday when my family arrived for what was supposed to be some "picture taking" with my amazing friend/photographer, Meg Boorman. As some of you may understand more completely than others, when family is involved sometimes things dont go as planned. No family photos were taken as planned and the party began. We celebrated my birthday with a catered party on the rooftop deck of the downtown condo building I live in, here in sunny Victoria. It was a beautiful day! Great company, great food and lots of laughs all shared in an amazing location. So much fun. On to Sunday, Mothers Day. Another beautiful day in Victoria. Perfect day for a half marathon. Probably not the best decision for me, but if you know me at all, you know I am a true Taurus -stubborn as a bull. Never mind I hadn't trained and also never mind that I had been hobbling around all the week prior, I was going to give it a shot! the first 7k were pretty uneventful and then all heck broke loose. My calf muscle seized again and at about 8k I was forced to walk. I tried to run a couple more times but my body responded with a resounding NO! I did finish though, walking with my friend Sara, crossing as we always do, together, holding hands and laughing our heads off! Val and my darling husband Dwight had walked back along the course to find us. They were laughing right along with us. Even though the race was not a PB, the day rocked. Monday was my actual birthday and it was spent between the sofa and bed, keeping my leg elevated and iced. Perfect day for reflecting on what I want from this decade of my life. I actually rather enjoy those days because when the universe conspires to make you slow down, there is usually a pretty good reason. I needed to re-evaluate some things happening in my life and refocus my efforts and let go of a few things. Even though I didn't accomplish anything tangible to others, I sure feel good about what I did. And now as I sit here with the morning sun streaming in my windows and a brand new day at my feet, I just can't wait to get on with it! Thanks to everyone that helped make my birthday celebrations amazing! I will post some pics once I receive them. They are amazing. Until next time......

It's birthday party day!

Short post today! Today my wonderful husband of 25 years is hosting a 50th birthday party for me on our rooftop deck. About 60 friends, family, co-workers, colleagues and clients will be on hand to help me celebrate this milestone birthday. I am looking forward to my worlds colliding so to speak, with people that mean so much to me meeting people from other " compartments" of my life. We will have food, drinks and with any luck, a boatload of laughter and memories. My friend Meg of Meg Boorman Photography will be documenting the event for us. Watch for some pics to appear here in the nest week or so. I have a new dress and fabulous shoes for the event and am excited to get dressed up! I will check back with you all tomorrow after the half marathon and let you know how both events went. To those that are unable to make it today, I will have some wine for you. Wish you were here! Kathi

10 things I learned about myself in my 40's

Good morning everyone. I have decided to try something a little different with my morning coffee today. In a few days I begin a new decade of my life so I have been spending a little time, ok a lot of time since I have been a bit injured this week, reflecting on what I have learned about myself. 1. I am not the same person I was when I turned 40. Not just physically but mentally too. 2. I am sometimes afraid to voice my opinion. No, really! 3. I am more comfortable in large groups rather than one on one 4. Like most people I am afraid of looking silly and when I feel I do, my inner fat girl makes an appearance. 5. I can be a hermit if left to my own devices. Sometimes it's tough to get motivated enough to go out 6. I have much more determination than I thought I did. My family and friends think I am stronger than I think I am. 7. My feelings are very easily hurt and it takes a long time for the hurt to go away. Mostly it's words that cause the deepest wounds and most of the time the other person will never have any idea...but I carry it with me. The second worst is if someone hurts my family, the worst is when I feel "not good enough". Both can come in many forms. 8. I fight to stay organized and feel most days like I am losing the battle or forgetting I am supposed to be somewhere 9. I feel like I have found what I am meant to do with my life (outside of being a mom and wife) and feel so amazingly honored that people respond to the coaching I provide. I wake up almost every morning and feel so happy that I get to be a buttkicker/cheerleader/therapist - whatever the day is going to bring. 10. I have learned to surround myself with people that are supportive to my goals and to limit the contact with negative influences. It's still hard to say no sometimes but I am getting better. I think it's easier as I get physically stronger and older. I couldn't have done any of this in my 20's. I have to remind myself on a daily basis that I have worked hard to be where I am and push myself to "put myself out there" in my life, work and training. I struggle with a lot of self doubt and negative self talk. I have since childhood. It's a long story and not for this page, more for a therapist's couch. I am really looking forward to the challenges this new decade is going to bring even though at the same time I am a little frightened I must admit. Stay tuned. 5 days left of my 40's....... Oh boy...how did 50 sneak up so fast!

I've Been Thinking... maybe a little too much...

As most of you know I have a leg injury at the moment that has been a little frustrating.  Yesterday my day was thrown into a tailspin when I got a call from the hospital telling me that I had to come down right away to have my leg scanned to look for a blood clot.  My day was rearranged and I was scanned, no blood clot in sight.  There seemed to be some evidence of a tear but we have to further investigate that.  So, it's a good news/bad news situation.  I can now get my heart rate up again, but lower body work is out for now.  It's tough being still!  Especially when exercise is so much a part of my life and has been for awhile.  It was a huge factor in my weight loss and when I can't exercise my mind goes to dark places.

On another note I have been doing more thinking about food lately.  In preparation for competition my diet was changed.  It is difficult to stick to and rather dull which isn't the issue.  The issue for me is that because I am a competitor with weight still to lose before cutting for the stage I am obsessing about the fact that I haven't lost weight for awhile.  The further along I get in this process, the more I am obsessing about every thing that goes into my mouth.  I am freaking out and beating myself up on a daily basis to the point where I am thinking I may have set myself up for a disaster.  There....I've said it out loud!
It's gotten to the point that I dreamed about someone offering my husband dessert last night.  I was waiting for him to offer it to me so I could politely decline.  What does it all mean?

Anyway, today I will try to move some more over the course of the day.  I am teaching (and not doing) spin this morning twice and have an almost full slate of clients.  I will find some time for an upper body workout this afternoon and maybe that will help with this doubt.  I sure hope so.

I hope you all have an amazing day and accomplish something that takes you closer to your dreams!

Kathi

I SUCK at Being Injured

I haven't been here for a few days. I have been wallowing in a bit of self pity and spending some quality time with an ice pack. Let me explain..... One of the things I really love to do is run. It's actually a love-hate relationship. Thinking about running is hard and the first few minutes of a run are difficult for me because I think about the difficulty ahead. Then I hit my stride, get out of my head and into my music and it all starts to flow. Sunday was the TC 10k run. I hadn't trained but had one great run under my belt since my surgery so I decided to sign up. During the first kilometer I got a cramp. I've had it before so decided to run through it. I used all my tricks, walk a bit, vary my stride and pace and so on. It worked and the cramp went away and my run improved greatly. I even knocked 9 minutes off last year's time. A HUGE success for me! After the race things felt good. I went to the gym and rode the spin bike at low tension to flush a bit and still all was well. Sunday night things changed. Pain increased and swelling started right in the position of the original cramp. Its all a little distressing. I do not do "being injured" very well. I don't like being forced to sit still or take it easy. I don't like icing injuries, I don't like sitting with my leg elevated. As soon as I sit down I think of all the things I need to get or should be doing. What a whiner hey? Today the doctors get a look and my friend, a massage therapist will work on it and hopefully I will be back to standing and spinning soon. a d as a happy side effect foe y'all I can and will stop whining. I will keep you posted. The journey to the stage continues!